For some reason every morning I wake up, all I can think of is what I'm going to do next to help my dad. I am POSITIVE that my sister Mecia has that same feeling because my phone rings every morning between 7am & 7:40am.
When he was in the hospital I found myself there almost everyday. Sometimes missing out on new job opportunities and even taking much longer than usual to turn around jobs I had worked on. I found myself fussing people out (in my mind) if they asked me for favors or even rushed me to do something because at that moment, nothing ANYONE ELSE WAS TALKING ABOUT OR ASKING FROM ME was important. (except of course my husband/mom/kids, but they too were unfortunately coming in second). I found myself dragging my macbook pro right along with me to the hospital each day along with my kids most of the time so that I could complete my work. We were there for hours and hours @ points and sometimes I was only able to be there for 2 hours, but I was there. I was beginning to use the visitor passes as sticky notes to jot down important dates and notes for future jobs.
some of the visitors passes accumulated
I remember him being in the hospital and his face would LIGHT UP when someone came to visit him. He's always been a "people person" :)
It's SOOOOO much better with my father here with us. I am overjoyed that my parents actually live with us! At this moment I should actually be doing work but again, I find myself feeling like a lot of my day should be dedicated to my dad. NOT out of obligation, but out of PURE LOVE for him.
Yesterday, he met with his spine surgeon. Transport U came to pick him up again. These guys are great, but no one really knows they exist. They are very reasonable in cost compared to the $800+ quotes we were getting before we found them. And we are beyond grateful that MD Veterans Affairs has offered to pay the bill each and every time he needs to be transported.
praying before they come to pick him up
saying see you later to kailynn-james
strapped and ready to go
rushing to get her purse . there's no way they're leaving her behind! SHE is attached at his hip.
waving at us
i wanted to see what he sees laying in the bed all day. this is the view from his window. Thank God for shining the sun right into his room.
Kailynn-James and I went outside to sprinkle the withered plants that I purchased for my father last month into the garden area. I noticed this one plant that was left abandoned by us and sat outside to wither that was still holding on... still fighting to bloom. SO PROFOUND. Reminded me of my father. Feeling like we've been left to figure it all out with GOD'S help, he is fighting to heal and bloom again. And he IS. I brought this plant back into the house and will continue to care for it.
kailynn-james waited on the steps for a bit until she realized they wouldn't be right back.
The news from his spinal surgeon was GOOD+bad I guess. He said that his spine has healed well from the surgery but that there is a very large tumor breaking his L5.... He explained that there are no restrictions and that my dad should be able to sit up... He also said that he doesn't see a need for surgery at this time since my dad has recently gone through 3 surgeries and his body needs to heal.
kailynn-james volunteered to find a movie for my dad to watch and brought charlie's angels to him from the entertainment cabinet. she also insisted on having lunch with him as well even though she had just had a lunch of her own.
As most of you may know, my sister Mecia and my parents neighbor Stephanie have pulled together a community yard sale for tomorrow. Initially the idea of having a sale and accepting donations made me feel "needy" or as if we were "begging" for help. Wondering will people think we "NEED" help???... and I QUICKLY got over this because truthfully, we need all the help we can get. Emotionally, Prayerfully, Financially, etc. It is unfortunate when someone sooooooooooo good is being denied the things that will help make their life better but cost soooo much.
At this sale, they will be selling very quality items in hopes of raising funds to purchase a new medical bed for my father and a Barton Medical Convertible chair that is VERY MUCH NEEDED. Due to my fathers frail bones, he is unable to get into a chair on his own. The Barton Medical Chair has made it possible for patients similar to my father to be able to be transferred safely onto the stretcher which converts to a chair! check it out > http://www.bartonmedical.com/ . His physical therapist has stated that she would put in a referral for kaiser to approve to pay for this chair, but with the way kaiser has been denying A LOT of the recent needs for my father we are not sure they will approve. This experience has made the words "good quality of life" sound like curse words to me... Their idea of a good quality of life is to lay in a bed, unable to move, pain free... This may make since for an 80/90 year old person that has lived their life to the fullest, but CERTAINLY not for a man who is FIGHTING to heal, NOT giving up, who wants so badly to sit up in a chair and watch cartoons with his grandchildren... To sit up and be strolled up the sidewalk with his walk and EVENTUALLY WALK while holding hands with his wife of 38 years... THAT'S a good quality of life....
Please take a look @ the flyer and come show your support if you are available!
Monetary donations may also be sent to forwewalkbyfaithnotsight@yahoo.com via paypal.
Lastly, little Kardan had a dream recently that my father was walking. Actually a lot of us have. He drew a picture of my dad standing and gave it to him.
Ok, it's time to get to work. I have a deadline to meet.
1 comment:
Yeah....i am stuck looking through all the pictures and feeling this surrealness! Let me get back to work too!! GOD IS GOOD!
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